Friday, February 14, 2014

NVSB: No Valentine Since Birth

Yes. Always have but I hope NOT always will.

That tweet of Ramon Bautista gave me the idea to write something about not having a Valentine every 14th of February. There were already several advice written on how to celebrate this so called “Single Awareness Day” so I am not going to write about that. I’m not so sure how this post will go. I will just write away until I finish this. Maybe I will just write about the feeling or the experience (female perspective) and possibly put you readers inside our shoes. Welcome to the “lonely hearts club”!

How does it feel to have lived without a Valentine?
Taking back to the title quoted from Sir RB, “NVSB: No Valentine Since Birth”, I am and I’m not being bitter or sad about it nor being proud for it’s a fact. It’s a reality I’ve been facing not only on Heart’s day but also during Holiday seasons, birthdays and other celebratory occasions. So how does it feel like? Sad? Lonely? Happy? Stressful? Peaceful? There’s no exact feeling. I guess it’s a case to case basis and it’s always  mixture of feelings. I am sure I am not the only one who’s in this phase, so raise your hand if you are NVSB and affirm or negate the following:

1.               While your friends or parents go on a date, you are left to date yourself. It’s lonely because you’re alone as in you have no companion but it’s not “lonely” lonely as in “sad”.  No problem, by now you’re probably used to it anyway. Enjoy independence, woman!

2.               While others stress out on preparing surprises for their loved ones, you are there spending a normal day in school or at work without nothing to worry about. That makes it peaceful.  Your pocket and wallet is worry-free, you've got all the time in the world and your mind is free from stress. Be happy.

3.               While others receive flowers and chocolates from their boyfriend or hubby, you get yours own from friends, colleagues, family members or worst, from your own pocket. Or maybe you just watch the couples with green-eyes as they get their surprises. This is the part where it gets sad but it is all in the mind. It is not required to eat chocolates, have flowers on V-day, chill.  It is not right to be jealous, instead be happy for they are experiencing those.  Don’t sulk. We take it as a regular day.

You see, I inserted positive things in the above-mentioned scenarios because thinking about Valentine’s day as a problem and source of stress and sadness is just wrong. It’s a celebration of love. Not only for lovers but also for life so I wanted everyone to realize that whether you’re single or not, you may celebrate it.  

Don’t get us wrong, having no Valentine doesn't mean we never fell in love. Some of us may be (as of the moment) broken-hearted,  in love with someone taken, or harboring unrequited feelings, but in one way or another I’m pretty sure we've all experienced love. It’s just that we never had Valentine’s on the 14th. From personal experience, it sometimes get to the annoying point when people always ask about our love life. On reunions, we dread conversations involving this topic. It’s an irate feeling when relatives/acquaintances ask “Do you have a boyfriend?” and when answered “No” they’d be like “Why?” Like it’s a disease not to have one. On Valentine’s, people ask who’s the date and where’s the date when they already know you’re dateless and single. Imagine if you were in our place and you were bombarded with those questions you never wanted to talk about or you have answers but your answers weren't accepted wouldn't you be annoyed too? I mean it’s alright to ask but sometimes it’s just too much. Again, I’m not being bitter but be reminded that we do not owe you an explanation. That’s why I  understand those who avoid Valentine’s day and the celebratory effects of it. They are probably fed up. It is overrated.

I used to be a Valentine Grinch when I’m much younger or until 2012. I remember my HS/College friends and I have this secret group (I won’t disclose the name) in Facebook where we write our love-hate posts as we were all single and “medyo bitter” then. We even planned to have an I-hate-Valentine’s-day party inspired by the Valentine’s day movie until suddenly things changed to me. From 2013 onwards, I dropped the hate. I realized there’s no point. It won’t change the fact that I am still single and dateless.

I also thought that ignoring the day and ranting about it would not give me any gain. As part of growing up, I realized that we should just acknowledge and accept it as it is.

Photo credits: Business Insider

Here's Jennifer Garner on her famous pinata scene on Valentine's day movie.

I would still do my traditional counting of bouquet of flowers on V-day where the record set was 400, as of now I just saw 4 people carrying bouquet. I would still dream of receiving my own bouquet.

Hopefully as cute as these:

Photo credits: Postmevancouver Wordpress
Photo credits: Girly bubble
Photo credits: Saving advice
Photo credits: Hawaii Kawaii
I would still hope someone will sing me this:

Please be a John Legend for a day. 

Or any Coldplay song. Or The Script’s The Man who can’t be moved. Although someone already did. 

I will still dream of having a candle-lit dinner in my secret dream place down south because I’m hopeless romantic like that but I will just wait and not sulk even if those do not happen today or on the next February 14s I may have to face.

While it maybe sad that we don’t have someone to date with tonight and we have no one to introduce to our family and friends as boyfriend or husband, it’s alright, earth will rotate and life will continue. Love is a simple yet complicated wonderful thing, but it does not require a Valentine because your Valentine could be you.

This has been Rosette, 23 years without a Valentine, still hopeful and is so far having a Happy Valentine’s day.

It's 6 P.M. and I am still accepting love donations. Just kidding.
P.S. She’s wearing red pants and red jacket today. She’s not really in love but she’s hoping to get there soon. She rewarded herself a golden ice cream to celebrate the heart’s day and Friday.

From my 18 year-old Lego and I, Happy Valentine's day!

Recreated a Lego-courting scene

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