Friday, December 31, 2010

#2010 was...

(Bring it on 2011!)
I don’t know what word will suit it best but I am still hashtagging the year that was. It has been my tradition to blog every 31st of December so yeah.
Tap tap tap goes my nineteen year-old self blogging on the last day of the year. Last day of the milennium decade. Last year of being a teen. Can you believe it?
That fast. But oh well, 2010 was nevertheless good. Although I ranted, cursed and sobbed almost everyday of my life, 2010 has been considerate enough.
I cannot count the memories I weaved all throughout the year, good or bad, I learned and I am very much thankful for that. The 2000 decade was also good, Thank God! Congratulations, we survived 2010!
(GPOY: I knocked-out 2010!)
Cheers to my teenage years! I am saying goodbye this early so that I won’t see myself in state of denial on the day that I turn 20. I look like a kid, but yeah I am turning 20 this January. You can’t do anything about aging. Nobody can escape, so 20s, I am welcoming you this early. Embracing my oldness if there is such a thing. Hurrah! I’m glad I knocked out 2010 alive and kicking. This goes to the past 19 years of my life as well. I hope we’ll all have a kick-ass year ahead.
For the new people I met, new experiences I’ve had and abundant blessings I received, I am raising my glass! For the people who stayed and cared, I love you! Cheers to you all and thank you for being part of my life in the past 12 months and should I say, 10 years. It was all worth it. We have another year to share with, and I am only hoping the best for all of us. Forget about what’s making us sad and hurt, let’s all be happy, have a heart-ache free, healthy and smooth-sailing year. I’m sending all the good vibes and luck. Let’s make 2011 epic. Be better! You know I love you! Make 2011, mine oh mine.
For now let’s just savour the hours left for 2010, enjoy the Fs: food, fireworks, friends and family! Happy Strong New Year!
Love, peace and happiness for everyone! Attraversiamo this new decade! <3
To God be the Glory!
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” - Charles Schulz

Friday, November 05, 2010

First sem A.Y. 2010-2011: Photo-blogged

If I were to describe the First Semester I've had, I'll use a line from Eminem and Rihanna's Love the way you lie, "I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like..".
Exactly that, because it is hard to describe but in five words it is:
1. Sleep-depriving- Sometimes I don't even sleep. Now, my body clock's reversed. Screwed. I'm always alive during the wee hours of the night. Turned zombie. Seriously.
2. Too hectic- deadlines here and there, write. write. write. (even when writer's block happen almost every time that I needed it) Juggled three editorial tasks along with quizzes, projects and exams for I was an EIC for a group in Lit, Assoc Ed for a group in Feat and Features Ed for a group in NPM. Tiring but I got through it easily because of good and helpful colleagues,Thank God!
3 and 4.Fun and memorable- I got to meet awesome people, cover events, do things I've never done before, gained a lot of experience with a rollercoaster of emotions and taught me some tough lessons (good or bad), travel, have photoshoots, sleepover, interviews, learn a lot of things, practice them,and get good grades in the process. and I guess that is why it ended as #5. Fulfilling. The word itself says it all.

I think these aren't enough though, in a span of almost 5 months so much has happened and I guess it'd be more vivid if I put them into photos. Let's include the non-school related stuff as well.


June 16, 2010.Wednesday. Taken right after Sir Nestor Cuartero's first Feature Writing Class meeting. After this day, so much has happened. A magazine project etc.


July 9, 2010. Watched this for free! I'm a sucker for concerts that I joined a contest on radio. Thanks to U92FM for this opportunity. I was hella lucky to win tickets especially that this is THE USHER. Totally made me OMG!


Met two Legendary personalities. National Artist for Literature, F. Sionil Jose at the Annual Journalism Seminar and Manix Abrera, my favorite cartoonist!


Mona's 18th and Trojan Women shoot for Achaean Lith magazine. I had fun on both.


Had a free Walk this way tour, courtesy of the Mr. Carlos Celdran. I was also able to interview him for Halo-Halo magazine and Metro Bullet News blog. He was the man of the hour then because of the Damaso thing and I was lucky he agreed for an interview.

There are several memories to share but those were just some that encapsulated over the past five months. I know second sem will add more to these. I am looking forward to that.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Let it be

"Sometimes it is better to let things happen rather than insisting on how you want them to be done."
I got this message from a friend, didn't realize he sent it twice until I tried deleting messages from my inbox and saw it. He sent it on different months but it only made sense just now.

People say we should not let things happen because we make things happen, I beg to disagree. It's not at all times that we can make things happen, sometimes we try hard to make things work yet it's still not enough. It sucks really. I sometimes wonder if it's only a challenge so one can have what he/she really deserve. But what if you've already done too much? Ain't it a sign that what you want is really not for you? I'm sorry, I don't have the answer either. I'm trying to figure it out as well. I'm currently reading Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist and there's this part which can be related to this. The main character Santiago is in search of his destiny and his dream but life's being too hard on him. The question now is it time for him to give up when he's nearing his destination? or Will he strive hard even when there's no certainty that his dream will come true? It all boils down to risking once again.

It's like he tries everything to make things work, it's been doing good, then when he's finally nearing completion, something happens and ruin things. It's like he's against all odds. It may not be about perfect timing because everyday he try yet it's still busted. Then he decided that' it's about time to surrender and just let things be. Maybe it's a good joke of fate. Nobody knows.

It's still an open-ended question. I'll leave it hanging until I found the right answers.

Sunday, October 31, 2010


In the light of the spooky season, this blog will be about Halloween, just so I can somehow celebrate even if it is underrated on my country. And and because I am nowhere but home when I'm suppose to be on a Halloween party or trick or treating somewhere.

Let me refresh my childhood memories of October 31st...

We (Cousins and I) used to trick or treat at BF Homes, Paranaque. Thanks to Dionisio family for inviting us every year then, it's a pleasant experience. I remember the feeling of being amazed whenever I see kids with awesome costumes, the sight of houses with incredible decorations. I found them cool because they really put their time and effort just to make the children and adults on their village happy. It's also like Christmas in a way since people are being generous only, the costumes are scary and the mood is set on a darker tone if you know what I mean. The candies and other sweet treats are also great too, we used to brag about how full our baskets were after trick or treating but nothing compares to the fun it gave us. Plus the warm greeting from the villagers. it will really make you smile. I miss those. It is old school but it is still something I'd like to go back to on my childhood. Too bad it's underrated here. The spirit of halloween is not that famed, but I'm still a fan.

Last night, because I was bored and there's nowhere to go to I made fun of one of my photos and made a zombie picture just to get the heck of Halloween:
(So this is how I look like with prosthetic)

I also made vampire pictures of myself but I don't find it spooky enough that's why this was the one I used as a profile pic on Facebook as a Halloween special. I'm surprised with the comments and likes I got. I bet it looked really scary to them. I made some zombie and vampy pictures of my friends as well but they might kill me if I post it here so never mind.

Next year, my friends and I plan to throw a costume party, by then I hope this zombiefied picture will be brought to life.

Here's something witty but *insert gross adjective here* costume I found on tumblr: (FTW! It is still funny. Best costume award goes to whoever you are.)

Once again, Happy Halloween! :)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Random mumblings

My calendar says October 28.

It means today is enrollment day (I just enrolled earlier), Second sem is just around the corner, Semestral break's about to end (Oh no, oh yes!) and there are only three days left before November starts.

Happy Halloween, guys!

I've been MIA for months, and like the usual I'm here again blogging because I have been busy and I felt the urge to write again. Writing not because I need to, but because I want to. There are many things going on in my head right now. It's 11:31 pm on the clock and yet my senses are wide awake. (Probably, slept too much) I just feel like writing. Random. This time it's not about me updating you with my life. I just write whatever comes out from my thoughts which were lately, only in my head. I promise I'm going to post this before 12 midnight, because if not I guess it's not October 28 anymore. And I totally know it didn't made any sense.

It's ironic how my thoughts flow yet I can't put them into words. Maybe this is what they call 'cluttered-brain'. Well, yeah, I'm thinking maybe that's it.

Have you ever felt you think too much? I do. Always. People. Things. Food. Philosophies. Ideas. Dreams. Anything and everything. I actually think I over analyze things, like on simple decisions. I just realize how I think too much. Say for example a simple choice whether what to wear on this and that takes time.

Red? Pink? Black? What color? T-shirt? Dress? Pants or skirt? What if it didn't fit to the occasion? What if someone wears the same? Is it tacky? Do I look good in it?

Questions go on and on and the more questions and answers I have, the more confuse I get. They say life is complicated. I think it is too. But they were right when they said that we're the only ones who complicate things. If we only learn how to not care, then decision-making will be easy. Maybe we're afraid to make certain choices because we are scared of the outcome. Life is always a risk. We'll never know if we'll never try. Sometimes I think that it's better to not risk. You won't get hurt. Wise decision? No. It's just a safe one. You're not bound to get hurt or any but you'll never be happy either. So what am I saying? Ah, I just thought that in risking we may see good and bad. We will. Been there, done that. Whether it's a good thing or a bad thing is not on our control. We just have to savor it, after all it is our decision. Don't regret if your decision fails, it's a good thing that you tried and risked. It made you wiser and gained you experience anyway. Life is always hard. It will never be exciting if it is easy as we want it to be.

Five minutes left before 12 am, so I am ending this now. Don't know if I made any sense or if I helped or tickled your neurons with what I wrote. In all honesty, I'm not sure why I wrote that, because like I said I just let my hands type the words in my head. Let me just say that I am no wise at life, I fall down too, but those are just my realizations that I just felt like sharing.

Today is October 28. And it's been three years since. Three long years. What this means is for me to know and for you to find out.

Friday, October 15, 2010

We'll paint the Sistine Chapel

We’ll paint the Sistine Chapel
So this is the long due 3.0 photo on my non-pro shoot with @clamour. It took me a long time to post another, sorry for that. For one I am busy second I am busy. and there’s no other reason, I am just busy. Way busy that I don’t even get to sleep.
This look was not really inspired by something, but with the beret I have, let’s just pretend I’m playing painter here. (Not even close)
Love the shot, shorts and shirt recycled. I guess the combo’s plain but I think it’s good to go. Let’s now paint the Sistine Chapel and pretend I am MichaelAngelo, just because he’s the only painter I know aside from Da Vinci and Gogh. :D
-Text I posted on Chictopia, Lookbook and Tumblr-

Thursday, June 24, 2010

How Our Classrooms Suddenly Turned Into Newsrooms?

School year 2010-2011 opened exactly a week and a day ago. Upon the opening of this new semester comes greater responsibility (Not that Tobey Maguire responsibility kind of thing but just simple responsibilities like not being late on class, if you get what I mean), bigger changes, and a lot of adjustments to make. There's a lot in store for us on our Third year in UST.

Aside from our building being newly painted and renovated, our schedules and room assignments changed. Even professors and instructors do, plus we now have four major subjects to take. Most of our classes now ends at 9pm, 5-day class everything on the afternoon shift. These courses are more complicated than the previous ones, and note that each class's duration is 3 hours. Very different from the one-hour or one-and-a-half class morning shift classes that we got used to. This must be the price we pay for somehow slacking off on our first two years in College, adjustment's inevitable. This got to be the real thing. I foresee challenges ahead. A lot actually. I observed this on the past first five days I've been spending on different classrooms. Maybe the only thing that didn't change was our block, same familiar faces but better ones I must say.

June 16 happened, and in one snap...

Our classrooms suddenly turned into newsrooms, how?

We instantly became reporters/writers/researchers our Professors or Instructors became our boss and editors. We research for stories then submit our articles on deadline, they check it. That's just about it. Sounds easy? Truth be told, it just sounds like it but the process is not as easy as that. I speak for myself, I don't know with others. Some are born to write anyway.

Meanwhile, about the experience I'm learning a lot. I'm trying to note what I've been learning so far.

On Lit 3, The professor said we should keep up on our acads because the only choice we have is either to sink or swim.

On Feature Writing, The professor stressed out that we should mean whatever we say and whatever we say we'll mean. He also said that everyday is a deadline for writers. These deadlines drives us crazy but when it does, it makes us work harder since it gives us undue pressure.

On News paper practice and management, The professor said deadlines are sacred. Indeed it is.

On Literary Journalism, The professor highlighted some anecdotes about the misfortunes of reporters who got late. Tardiness should be strictly avoided on our field.

These are just some, I also have Spanish, I.T. in the Newsroom, Experimental Psychology, Filipino 2 classes where I've also learned a lot. I note what they say, because I believe everything matters. I've had a lot of lessons in my head over the week, imagine that. It's good that I'm learning. First day was not just mere orientation or the same old introduce-yourself-in-class session, some segway-ed their lessons already. On one class we even had a mock press-conference. Classrooms surely turned into newsrooms. We may encounter several surprises like this along the way, I must prepare. Or at least I should be alert or aware. (I can't find the perfect word. ha.)

So this has been me, reporting to you the happenings on my come back to school, I'd be updating you when something's newsworthy enough, wait for the next deadline.

By the way, I posted some photos of my second assignment below, to interview a Freshman at the Thomasian Walk. I am working on this article now with my oh-so-reliable friend/partner Bianca. Good luck to us! (In case you're wondering what's my first assignment, it is a critique paper on any feature article of my choice, there.)

(Covered the Thomasian Welcome Walk yesterday. Freshmen spirits on high!)

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Last Tango, then Paris

I bet you know what just happened if you are a Gossip Girl addict.

Right, I just watched the Season 3 Finale of the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. And yes the title is "Last Tango, then Paris". Wild guess on Season 4? Yup yup, Some scenes will be taken in Paris. I.CAN'T.WAIT.TO.SEE.THAT. For real. I mean, really. Okay enough, it's in its nth power exaggeration already, too much hyperbole.

So about the finale, one word: TRAGIC. Everyone ended up heartbroken all because of Little J. And with the jaw-dropping ending, Chuck Bass just can't die. Gossip Girl without Chuck Bass is taboo. I can never imagine that, especially now that Chace Crawford (Nate Archibald) got arrested (in real life). That just can't happen. Will join boycott if ever. Make Chuck Bass alive! After all Chuck Bass is Chuck Bass, and everybody loves him, without a doubt. Kill anyone but not him, they already killed Bart Bass. But on second thought that would be the magic of Season 4, turn things upside down with its shocking twists. I'm hoping it'd be a good one. It should be an exciting one, the return of Georgina Sparks, Single ladies Blair and Serena Jenny leaving, Paris, Dan going to Prague? Death of Chuck Bass? One new spectacular season. If ever Chuck's strong character would be gone, it surely won't be forgotten. So much of the girls who cried for him and who will cry if that happens. September 2010, xoxo Gossip Girl, bring it on!

"And all in the instant everything changes, we leave the past behind and speed toward the unknown, our future. We set out for far off places and try to find ourselves, or try to lose ourselves exploring pleasures closer to home. The problem start when we refuse to let change happen and cling to old habits, but if we hold on to the past too tight the future may never come." -Gossip Girl

*I seriously took an effort on transcribing this parting line of Gossip Girl. I'm that addict. Don't you agree that the quote is so sensible?*

Saturday, June 12, 2010


I can't get enough of Daria!!!

(MTV's Daria: Full Cast)
Preview: The people of Lawndale just don't get Daria Morgendorffer. She's cool with that. See, Daria was born alienated, and now she's just trying to make it through high school with as little human contact as possible. Popularity, friends, activities...whatever. Daria lacks enthusiasm, but she makes up for it with sarcasm. Daria is the spin-off of MTV's most sucessful cartoon, BeavisandButt-Head. (

Why didn't I think of watching this when Summer vacation is only starting? I feel bad I've only thought of watching it today. I should have done this before. Back when I have all the time in the world. Now I'm rushing things since my to-do list is still getting longer yet I am running out of time. Yet again, so many things to do so little time.

This TV show Daria was one of my all-time faves along side with As told by Ginger. Am I a geek? I just love those kind of settings. It's something just about the ordinary life. "Relate-able"actually if there is such a word. Not so much of a fiction although it's a cartoon, it still speaks about reality that's why I like it. And I'm addicted to it right now. Can't stop myself from thinking why only now again??? Didn't know it ran until Season 5 and I didn't know it started airing March,1997. That long? Goodness, it will take a lot of time to catch up. I've heard they would even come up with a DVD this year, awesome indeed. But till then I'll be having classes. Thank you very much swift time.

I'm five seasons behind but so what? That means I can still engage myself on watching this lovely cartoon in case boredom strikes anytime this school year which is most unlikely to happen. It's still all good, for now I have to kill Season 3 of Gossip Girl, Season 1 of Glee, let alone all the crap and sleep myself.

And hey, before I forget, I'd have to greet my Motherland, Happy Independence Day!
If not for Philippine Independence day there would be no entertainment, so Thank You. June 12.

Friday, June 11, 2010

The inevitable is coming soon.

This is the beautiful message from God:

On this day of your life, Rosette, we believe God wants you to know ... that inevitable is best accepted with serenity.
Message from God
There are times when you absolutely see no solution. When you've thought and thought and prayed and prayed; when you've sat still in meditation listening for an answer and still no answer comes. There are times when it's okay to just surrender.

That suits me best.

Many of my friends on FB swears that this Facebook application is one of the best. Somehow, what it says really fits what they feel. Most of the times it does. Not only for them but also for me. The message above is just one of the proofs. For the past few days, weeks, months I've been dreading the inevitable but just as the word suggest it is inevitable and I can't do anything about it. I have no power to fight it. In as much as I use all the strength and will power I have to control it, it will still happen just because it is meant to happen.

In case you are wondering what that inevitable thing is, those are actually events I do not want to happen but I'm certain will happen. More likely the future. But something negative on the future because not everything is bad after all. Often times these inevitable I'm dreading, I deal by ignoring or by forgetting but when it come I start to worry again but just as the message above says, I should surrender it. I know I should but I just can't stop worrying and ranting about those things or events I do not want, however I know it would not do anything so I should just let things be. I may resort to giving up but I should not instead, I should surrender these problems/worries/fear to God. That's the best way to deal with it. Face fears with faith. Let things be come what may.

You don’t expect stuff to happen. You can’t control it. You can’t control anything.-Sophia Moore

We must bear in mind that whatever heavy thing we held too long will only give us pain so we might as well let it go. In that way, we'll be able handle things lightly. Worry-free. And we'll have this relief we've been longing.

"Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.-Bruce Lee

Monday, June 07, 2010

Hmm, Watcha say?

I am never good at anything. I'm not good in writing, sports, academics, public speaking, not good on everything artsy nor do I have a talent on dancing, singing or acting. I'm just a plain old Jane without a talent, maybe I do have but I haven't discovered it yet. Sometimes I wonder if this is normal. I mean not having something your good at, I wish I could excel on something because it sucks not being good at something. It's all average. Monotonous. But I do not hate myself for that, I still love me because I know I've been trying on fields I'm interested at. I still consider myself extraordinary because I may not be the best but I try. At least I do. At least I'm not that useless. Ha, seriously. You know what I mean. And you've seen them already, through my blogs and doodles.

Here's one of the things I'm interested at aside from writing, photography. I'm not joining the bandwagon of Digital Photography nor do I consider myself a photographer because I am not. I am no pro, I am only a photo-hobbyist. And I don't even consider myself good at it because I am just an amateur here. I do not even have any profile to show you either. I just take photos because I wanted to, sometimes it's vanity, sometimes it's for pleasure, sometimes I just have to and sometimes I just feel like doing so. I'm passionate about it like that. In fact I started taking photos at a very young age, even before I had my own camera at the age of 11.

Why do I heart cameras?

The first camera I ever had was a Film Compact Lens-Shutter camera (not-so-famous brand, I can't even remember the name). I got it when I once stayed in Japan for a vacation, the prize I've won from playing bowling I think, or was it because of a catalog promo? I can't remember either. We also had this black Canon Compact camera back in the 90's but it wasn't mine really so I did not get to use it very often. All of those were film so it was kind of costly, although, it's much better because you can see the real quality of the pictures. The second camera I got was a Polaroid which was a gift. It's not the usual Polaroid with white outlines, the ones my camera produces are photos with designed outlines. It comes in a very small size almost that of a 2x2 picture. Then came the age of Cell phone cameras which I've utilized very much for my daily documentation of vanity, events and whatnot, I am using them until now. The next was my 2-year old Sony Cybershot T70. With this camera, I took a lot of photos, thousands of them. I also took worth-taking videos. I love this camera because it has a lot of features, it's also pink, just saying. If you want to edit photos you can do it straight from the camera, you can even doodle on photos you've taken. The first time I put my hands on it, I found it hard because the language set was Japanese but later on I got used to its functions. It's one of my favorite gadgets. Also, I've had a lot of memories with this camera, concerts, trips, etc. that's why I treasure this one very much. I liked digital photography because of it, taking photos became cheaper because you can just store the photos in memory cards or PCs, although we all know there are pros and cons that comes with it. Finally, the latest camera I own is this Nikon D5000. My first DSLR, I never thought I'd have one. I named it Percy Jackson and I am his Grover, the protector.(OMG, I'm so corny!) I'm trying to discover its features yet because it's kind of new and the manual book was again in Japanese good thing the language settings was in English otherwise I'd be dumbfounded again. So far I'm loving it.

(Isn't it cute? DSC-T70)

I love taking random subjects, from fireworks, sunsets, clouds, flowers, things, people to places, but what I love taking the most are bokehs. Bokeh is the "aesthetic quality of the blur in out-of-focus areas of an image, or the way the lens renders out-of-focus points of light." as defined by Wikipedia. I've always found them beautiful. I wish I can take good quality pictures with bokeh-effect. I've been practicing this art now, but I am also waiting for Christmas season because this is the season of lights, which means more bokehs to take.

So far, here are some of the bokehs I took:

(Morning trial @El Jardin Resort, Bulacan)

(@ NLEX)

And these are the most recent ones, from the point of view of my Uncle's rooftop in Bulacan:

I'm so obsessed with bokehs that I don't even understand why. I found them romantic and very creative. I'd be posting another set once I've taken ones which I think is good enough. Gracias!

Sunday, June 06, 2010

Unbroken glass: Isang Maikling Kwento

Mataimtim akong nagbabasa ng librong Other Boleyn Girl ni Philippa Gregory sa Powerbooks. Badtrip kasi ako ngayong araw. Napag-initan ako ni boss sa trabaho, hindi ko nakuha ang loob ng kliyenteng Kano na nakipagtransaksyon kanina, kaya naman matapos ang work, nilakad ko ang kahabaan ng Ayala para makarating sa Greenbelt at deretso agad sa bookstore na ‘to. Alam mo na, para mag-unwind at panandaliang limutin ang realidad sa pamamagitan ng pagbabasa. Nasa kalagitnaan na ko ng pagbabasa nang mawala ang konsentrasyon ko dahil sa nakakairitang tunog. Yun pala, isang lalaking naka-headphone ang umupo sa likod ko. Di naman ako masungit at bugnuting tao, pero sa panahong ganito na badtrip ako ayokong may umiistorbo sa pagbabasa ko. Ubod ng lakas ng kanta sa MP3 niya, bingi na siguro ang taong ‘to. Lumalabas na sa headphones ang tunog ng pinakikinggan niya. Kung di ako nagkakamali ang pinapatugtog niya ay Sweet Child of Mine ng Guns and Roses. Makaluma naman ang taong to sa loob loob ko. Di na ko nagpatumpik-tumpik pa, kinalabit ko na siya. Laking gulat ko ng lumingon siya at ng makita ko ang kaniyang muka.

“Berns?!” Bulalas ko.

Berns, Berns, Berns, Bernard Suico, pano ko naman malilimutan ang taong ‘to. Si Berns na kaisa-isa kong ex, pinakisamahan ng tatlong taon, si Berns na nag-paalam at di na bumalik kaya pilit kong kinalimutan sa nakalipas na limang taon.

Hindi pa rin siya nagbabago, gwapo pa rin. “O Nina, Ba’t parang nakakita ka ng multo?” sabay ngiti niya. Hindi ko sinagot ang tanong na yun. N.R. kuno ako, siyempre galit pa din ako sa nangyari. Nagpaalam siya ng walang dahilan at matapos noon tuluyan ng naputol ang komunikasyon namin. Hindi ko na siya nakita matapos noon. Hindi na siya pumasok sa school, graduating pa naman kami noon. Bagamat hindi kami magka-batch sabay sana kami ga-graduate dahil 5th year niya na yun sa Archi ako naman 4th year na sa CFAD. Sobrang sayang. Pero ganun talaga. Wala akong ideya sa kung anumang dahilan ng aming paghihiwalay. Naiisip ko tuloy minsan, masyado ko na ba siyang mahal kaya nasakal na siya? O marami pa kong pagkukulang kaya nagkaganun? Wala pa din akong sagot kahit ngayon. Ayoko na lang din isipin. Tutal matagal na din ang limang taon. Sapat na ‘to para sabihing naka-move on na ako.

Dahil hindi ako sumagot, inaya niya na lang ako sa coffee shop o sa dinner. Wala pa din akong sagot. Kaya ang ending, hinatak niya na lang ako at wala na kong nagawa. Kaharap ko na siya ngayon sa isang lamesa dito sa Chinese Restaurant. Kami lang dalawa. Ano ba ‘tong pinasok ko? Dapat nag-object man lang ako. Pero naisip ko mas okay na ‘to kaysa naman sa coffee shop kami, mas mahaba ang usapan pag doon kami napadpad. Ok na din ‘to. Magpapanggap na lang ako na kumakain mamaya. “Waiter, Isang yang chao nga, birthday noodles, Fish Tofu at Beef Brisket. Tsaka dalawang Iced Tea na din. May gusto ka pa ba, Nina?” Hindi pa din ako sumagot. “Ah sige, kuya, Yan na lang muna. Salamat.” Ibinaba niya na ang menu, at kinuha ang kamay ko. Grabe, nanlamig ako. Dahil hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. Ngayon ko lang napagtanto, wala pa ding nagbago sa nararamdaman ko, kahit may galit, mahal ko pa din siya. Na-miss ko nga ang ganitong pagkakataon na hinahawakan niya ang kamay ko. Pinalis ko ang kamay niya, pero nagpumilit pa rin siya. “Nina. Yung nangyari dati…” Pinutol ko na ang sasabihin niya. “Kung hihingi ka ng tawad at magpapaliwanag kung bakit ka nawala, ‘wag mo na ituloy. Masyado ng matagal yun, huli na ang lahat.” Hinigpitan niya ang hawak sa kamay ko. “Nina, pagbigyan mo na ko. Huli na ‘to. Hayaan mo naman akong makabawi.” Patuloy na lang siyang nagkwento, at di na lang ako kumibo hanggang sa dumating na ang mga inorder niya.

Walang kamustahang naganap. Sinimulan niya na ang litanya niya “Alam mo ba kung bakit ako nawala?, alam ko hindi mo alam. Sobrang nagsisisi ako na di ko ipinaalam sa’yo. Ang tanga tanga ko Nina! Alam ko yun. Di na ko nagtataka kung bakit ka galit sakin ngayon. Ayos lang sakin kahit sampal-sampalin mo pa ko. Ako naman kasi ang nagkasala.” Gusto kong maiyak, maawa pero di niya pa rin sinasabi ang dahilan. Tumungo na lang ako habang unti-unting kumakain. “2004 nang magpaalam ako sa’yo. Kung alam mo lang ang pinagdaanan ko, nawalan ako ng direksyon sa buhay. Lalo pa’t wala akong naging karamay. Nagkasakit kasi noon si Mama, na-diagnosed siya ng Cancer of the Colon, Stage 3, Si Kuya Brian naman nawalan ng trabaho, Si Bernice, nabundol ng truck. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko nun. Wala akong pagkukuhanan ng pera, si Papa dahil kaka-retire lang kakaunti lamang ang naipong pera, hindi sapat para tustusan ang pagpapagamot kay Mama at Bernice. Si Kuya kahit walang trabaho, ume-extra kay Tito sa tindahan niya para naman kumita kahit papano. Ako naman napilitang maghanap ng trabaho. Kaya iniwan ko ang pag-aaral, kahit na ilang buwan na lang sana nun ga-gradweyt na ko. Nakahanap naman ako awa ng Diyos. Pero sobrang hirap Nina, hati ang katawan ko sa umaga magbabantay ako, sa gabi shift ko naman sa call center. Halos di na ko natutulog, naging bahay ko na ang Ospital ng Maynila dahil dun na ko tumutuloy. *Blag!!!* Nahulog sa sahig ang basong iniinuman ko. Tila nakikiramay sa emosyong nararamdaman ko na magkahalong awa, galit at lungkot. Bakit kaya di niya man lang ako sinabihan sa mga pinagdaanan niya noon? Para saan pa at naging girlfriend niya ako? Pinulot niya ang baso at sumenyas sa waiter para humingi ng bagong Iced Tea, isang himala na hindi nabasag ang baso. Matapos iabot ng waiter ang order, nagpatuloy na siya sa pagkukwento. Namumula na ang mata niya, pigil na pigil ang pag-iyak. “Iniisip ko noon kung dapat kong sabihin lahat sa’yo ito noon. Pero napag-desisyunan kong ‘wag na lang. Ayokong dalin mo pa ang problema ko. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, aayusin ko muna lahat ‘to bago kita balikan. Nagkamali ako. Sana pala naging totoo na lang ako sa’yo.” Tumulo ang luha niya. Sa ngayon, ako na mismo ang humawak sa kamay niya. “Kung maibabalik ko lang ang panahon…” Itinuloy ko ang sasabihin niya. “Hindi mo sana ko iniwan at sinabi mo sana sakin lahat ng ‘to, tama ba?” Umiiyak pa din siya at ako, nanatiling matigas. “Oo, di bale ng iwan mo ko dahil puno ako ng problema at least nalaman mo manlang sana ang pinagdaanan ko. Pero di ko nagawa! Kaya sorry talaga. Kung may salita mas hihigit sa sorry yun na ang ibig sabihin ko. Hindi pa rin nagbabago ang nararamdaman ko sa’yo pero alam ko huli na ang lahat.” Nagkaron ng panandaliang katahimikan matapos niyang huminto. “Alam mo Berns, Hindi mo na sana pinatagal ‘to. Maiintindihan naman kita kung may pinagdadaanan ka nun eh. Kahit bata pa tayo noon, mature na din naman ang pag-iisip ko nun. Hindi kita pakakawalan ng dahil lang sa marami kang problema. Binigyan mo sana ko ng pagkakataong tulungan ka.” Tinitigan niya ako. “I know. Kaya nga ang tanga ko eh. Sorry talaga, baka hindi mo na ko mapatawad. Sobrang tagal ng limang taon. Nakita mo ba ang basong nahulog kanina? Ganun ako Nina, nagpakatatag kahit nahuhulog hangga’t sa makaahon na ko sa hirap. Nung naging maayos na ang lahat, hinanap kita, maniwala ka. Hindi na nga lang ako nagtagumpay dahil pati sa barkada ko nawalan na ko ng komunikasyon. Sana mapatawad mo pa ko, kahit na hindi na tayo mag-usap after nito, malaman ko lang na napatawad mo na ko. Magiging mapayapa na ang loob ko.” Tiningnan ko siya mata sa mata. “Hindi ako Diyos para hindi ka patawarin Bernard, hinintay ko din ang araw na ‘to. Gusto ko din naman ng maayos na closure, yung hindi basta paalam na walang dahilan. Limang taon din akong nagtaka sa nangyari satin, umasa na babalikan mo ko. Kaya nga hanggang ngayon single pa din ako eh. Kung kapatawaran lang ang hinihingi mo, matagal ko ng naibigay sa’yo yun. Yung galit na ‘to maya maya lang wala na ‘to. May katwiran ka din naman kahit papano, kaya pinapatawad na kita.” Tumayo siya at niyakap ako, umiiyak pa din siya. Binulong niya sa akin “Salamat Nina, I love you…” Naiyak na din tuloy ako. Wala na kong pakialam kung ano sabihin ng taong nakapaligid. Eksena na kung eksena. Moment namin ‘to.

*Kriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing Kriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!!*

Nagising ako sa tunog ng alarm clock. 10 am na pala! Kanina pa ring ng ring ang alarm clock na ‘to. Tinignan ko ang paligid, basa ang unan ko. Panaginip lang pala ang lahat. Napatingin ako sa kalendaryo, Holiday pala ngayon. December 31, 2009. Balik sa normal ang buhay ko. Binukas ko ang TV. “Breaking News, Isang lalaking nasaksak kaninang madaling araw sa EDSA matapos ipagtanggol ang mag-lolang tinututukan ng patalim ng holdaper namatay. Napag-alamang ang lalaking ito ay nagngangalang Bernardo Suico,na taga-Cubao ayon sa ID sa bag nito. Ang mga labi ng bangkay ni Suico ay ibinigay na sa pamilya at napagpasyahang iburol siya sa Paz Funeral sa Cubao…” Pinatay ko ang TV. Hindi ako naiyak, oo nalulungkot ako sa pagkamatay niya, pero natutuwa ako na sa huling sandal ng buhay niya, nakuha niyang mag-paalam at magpaliwanag sakin sa pamamagitan ng panaginip. Oo nga pala, bagong taon na bukas, sinadya niya siguro to para makapagsimula na ko ng maayos na buhay bukas. Panibagong tsapter kung saan wala na siya. Dali dali akong nanalangin para sa kaluluwa niya at nag-ayos na para bisitahin ang kanyang burol.

Author's note: All characters and event are not related from the author, everything was just a product of my imagination. This was my first short-story ever.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Good bye, May!

So long, farewell, my precious May.

It's hard to say goodbye to May, because it only means one thing, June starts and I am not ready.

June signals:

>Good bye to Summer vacay.

>Good bye to lazy ass.

>Hello UST!

>I'd be facing books and profs again. School's here in two weeks.

>Up to now, I can't get over my sched, I hope I will real soon.

>5-day class. And Saturday classes which ends at 9PM. hello.

>Commuting really late.

>Homeworks, projects, papers, papers and more papers.

>Writer's block. HUHUHU. :(

>Mental block.

>I say hey to stressful life again.

>More sleepless nights and eye bags. (I might look like a Panda by then)

>But it's still good cause it's Hello friends and familiar faces!

>Plus hello food trip on Carpark and etc. (But I just remembered we don't have a break so scratch that out.)

I miss eating @ Pasta Plates. How random.

Wishing everyone a smooth-sailing school year. May all of us have the endurance to face the challenges ahead. But first I've to face the long lines on enrollment day. God bless us all!

Too cute to handle

These planners/journals/notebooks are to die for!

(Back details of the notebook on the right)

Lately I've been impulse buying notebooks-slash-journals-slash-planners at Swell Stuff just because I found them cute. You do not know how it's a struggle to not resist things I want but don't need because I am such a thrifty person. Something like that, someone who's practical. Like when on groceries and I got an item which is expensive my mind goes: Is it worthy? Will I benefit from it? Will I be sad if I did not buy it? And when the answer's no, I bring it back to the shelf where it rightfully belongs. All these thoughts rattle me especially when I'm broke. I cannot afford to buy something I do not need just for the sake of having it. With these journals though, I do not regret. On my previous post I already said I thrifted out on my planner and have one created instead. Yet, a few months later here I am buying all the cute planners I can see. I am a little confusing like that. But don't you agree with me that these are cool finds? After all, it isn't expensive as moleskins and high-end planners wouldn't cost you a thousand bucks. It wouldn't hurt to buy one at all. The covers, inside pages are good and worthy enough. The only thing which bothers me now about these, is the fact that I do not have a good handwriting. It would hurt if I turn these beautiful journals into ugly-ducklings the moment I wrote on them. I should have utilize them in the best manner I can. In time. I'll make sure of that.

Something tells me it's better if I'd leave them alone. I have more journals here anyway, they will just serve as my spare tires for now because they are just too cute to handle.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Going Artsy Fartsy

I am proud and at the same time ashamed to introduce to you my "do-it-yourself-planner", my project this year, "365 Days of Bummer".

Obviously, the title has been adapted from one of my favorite films, The 500 days of Summer. The idea of having this just struck me one January day when I'm looking for a perfect planner for the year. But I can't seem to find the perfect one, some too expensive, some aren't worthy so I thought why not make one for myself? In that way it'd be more personal since I'm the one who'll make it. So I did. Fortunately, I found my USA beef blank notebook and made it all happen. I also put in there 'Expectations and Reality' in exchange of my to-do lists. I just found it appropriate so I can keep track of the things I've done over the week.

It's sad I do not have any talent for art. Pardon me for the latter months, they were crammed so you see really ugly doodles. This is the arty-est I can be, technically. But not really, you should have seen my sketches for TLE when I was in 4th Year. I loved how I've drawn Ronald McDonald and Erap sadly though we have to return the sketches so I didn't get to save them.
Those old days are gone, I'm not good enough anymore.

I've already squeezed in all my talent for art and here goes the labor of love:

(From cover to some random statement)

I still have a lot of pages left so I'm going to use it to enhance my drawing skills. I hope there'd be gradual progress in time. Till next craft yo!

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Because I love The Perks Of Being a Wallflower

(The Perks Of Being A Wallflower)

Thanks to my cousin Jam for lending me this AWESOME BOOK: Stephen Chbosky's The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

I'm currently reading this at the same time with Dear John. And Yeah, I'm liking this a lot. It's light yet made a lot of sense, contrary to Jam's belief.

I can't wait for it's movie, 2011! EXCITED! specially that Logan Lerman will play as Charlie and Emma Watson as Sam. Good choice. Yeah, agree that Michael Cera could play Charlie as well but then again it's Logan Lerman, I wouldn't mind at all. Just so you know, I crush him. hahaha.

Going back to the book, You see the cover, the photo of the guy reminds me of Justin Beiber, the haircut and all that looks like him. Anyway, I couldn't say more. Just check out the book if you want, Interesting stories inside. It made sense at least for me.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Annoying Orange vs. The Yellow Magic

Some confession:
When I was in Grade 4 I used to campaign Manny Villar for Senator. Not famous then but he's a very promising politician. Little did I know that he'd be this famous,to the point that I refuse to vote for him now that I have the chance to. Sadly, he's not that promising politician anymore, and he's definitely not my choice of President. Maybe not in this lifetime, just maybe.

So.. for months we've been fed up of campaign jingles, infomercials with children belting out "Nakaligo ka na ba sa dagat ng basura?..."(Found ourselves LSS with this as well), Celebrities wearing orange with a big check, photos and fan pages all over the net and this, is all because of the orange guy, by the name of Manny Villar.

It's not because I hate the man or something, well it just get into my nerves that the walls, the television, radio and the world wide web are full of his face. Overrated. I understand that is his campaign strategy. But too much is not just right. It's not just him actually, some politicians get into my nerves too. The fact that it's summer and the idea that I should be relaxing didn't happen that much during the 45-day campaign period. There was even an instance that I woke up because a Party list blasted off the volumes of their campaign jingle, very annoying when I'm having a hard time to sleep. I mean, they even pay big amount for these campaign materials, sometimes those aren't helping.Voters now are smart, they won't be carried away by a just famous endorser or TV ads for that matter. Candidates should prove themselves.

The election experience

May 10, 2010 has been a historic one since it is the first automated elections here in the Philippines. I'm glad that this generation became a part of it. Everyone seems estatic about it since many are first-timevoters. I got to commend the media for encouraging the youth to vote for change. ABS-CBN's Boto Mo Patrol Mo did a good job on that. Anyway, in my case technically it was not my first time, because I voted 2007, on the Sangguniang Kabataan Elections, however this was my first time to vote on the National and Local elections and this time it is an automated one. The machines are on haywire that day leaving me uneasy at first, but the time I finished voting, I was fulfilled. After almost 3 hours of waiting and falling in line, it's still a consolation to see the PCOS machine's screen say: "Congratulations your vote has been counted!". It took the tiring feeling away to know that you've done something for your motherland. (I know, cheesy)

(A proof that I voted, my ugly nail with an indelible ink)

Looking back, I saw a lot has change, not just the process being automated but also the people. Maybe because people hungers for change after what the country has been through, Edsa II and the Hello Garci Scandal, people got smarter. Enough of the messy government, we want new politics. Notice that the number of voters grew bigger with the media encouraging the youth to vote for change, I guess youth being idealistic helps. People no longer waste their rights to vote. This is a good sign for change.

Who wins?

The election was exciting just as the results are. When I was a kid, I used to like watching the news-roll of votes and see if the candidate I root for gets in. Now, we no longer wait for a long time, before it took months to do manual counting but now we saw that a day after the elections some local candidates are already being proclaimed. By this rapid change, we can never be sure of the results, some still doubt it, many issues popping out like PCOS Machine being labeled as Hocus PCOS, vote buying allegations, etc. Still with no confirmation and evidences though. I'm just hoping that those aren't real because this is the only time we can make a change and I don't want this chance to be stolen from us. They said this is the cleanest election so far, I hope that holds truth to the results as well.

For the record, NoyNoy Aquino and Jejomar Binay are the President and Vice-president Apparent respectively. On presidency, the oranges were overpowered by the yellow magic. Some do not approve this, but I just hope all the best for our country, no issues.

So joining the bandwagon, here's a short note for our 15th President-elect Benigno Simeon Cojuangco Aquino:

Dear NoyNoy,

Congratulations, the public has chosen you to be the new President of The Republic of the Philippines, maybe because the think that you'll be the catalyst for change, congratulations still! I hope that this trust we've given you will not be put to waste. Our future is in your hands now. And we are letting you handle everything starting June 30, so please do your part. Let Philippines be better, and by better I mean best. Make the best out of your term. Your father and mother did their part already, please continue it in all your willingness and power. We do not expect you to be heroic, we just need a real sense of governance that will save this country from corruption, poverty, injustice, health and education issues and all that jazz. Laban as the sign below symbolizes, put this legendary symbol in action not only because it means a lot to the history of the Philippines but also because this is what the country needs. Unity and Peace. Do not disappoint us, I'll be praying for you and our country. I know you are not God but please make this happen, give us the change we've been wanting for all these years. Thank you very much, All the best! God bless you and our country!

Respectfully yours,

Rosette Adel

(May we be in good hands with you're governance)

Monday, May 17, 2010

7056th day

7055th day on Earth. But because it's 12:30 am it's now my 7056th day. Yes, I've been living that long. Love it or hate it.
The message right there makes sense we must be grateful of this life. Our clock's ticking, the hour glass is running out of sand, so we should go and make the most of it.
If you want to know how long you've been living go check

One, Twenty-one guns

21 guns. It kept playing on my head. Perfect background song while riding Wild River.
Oh yes, you got it right, that was the background song playing while I mustered a thousand dose of courage to face my fears riding that Wild River ride on Star City last night. I was never into extreme rides, you can never enjoy my company when you’re with me on a theme park because Ride-all-you can tickets aren’t just my thing. I just rode extreme rides back in 2002, at Disneyland and Universal Studios just because I had no choice. My aunt was a hustler on rides and I just followed her, Jurassic Park and Inidana Jones were my favorites back then. Although the T-rex scared the hell out of me. Man, it was totally huge && he swallowed us alive! (lol) Anyway, Going back, last night, I tried to conquer my fear and I rode that Wild River ride to make the most out of 2009 even when I believe I cannot. And even though I thought I’d die of fear. (I know, Over-acting, but it’s really a big deal) Although, I feared a lot, in the end I now knew I can. I just have to swallow 1000 milligrams of courage pills and I’ll get over it. Yes, it was a rewarding experience especially because I’m one of those crazy scaredy cats you’ll ever meet and a simple ride like this is nothing but an achievement. (Shallow, but true. Seriously.)
^A blog I posted December, I think.

Friday, May 14, 2010

What happens when I'm bored

When you have nothing to do because it’s summer. Over-think. Oversleep. Slack off. Grab a pen. Write your thoughts. Fill the spaces of your paper. Talk it out like you’re on a real conversation. Sing a song to hype up your mood. And to divert yourself from the heat. Eat healthy foods, that you may not eat once the school year starts. Take pictures, of people, of places, of things that captures your eyes’ desires. Walk around and see the beauty outside your window. Move along. Lay down. Close your eyes. Seize the moment. Breathe and smile for you are free.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

9 things for 2009

So much for the heartbreaking dramas, sudden deaths, scandals, storm aftermath, gruesome massacre, anticipated volcanic eruption, YEAR-ENDER SEVERE COUGH for me and all those crappy memories, we can now say: “I SURVIVED 2009” jumping, shouting, or even raising your middle finger whichever way you want it, because the calendar marks just reached the last day of 2009, we’re just counting hours and it’s 2010.

“A chance to change one’s self, a chance to be a hero, a chance to heal a nation” - Studio 23 ad (I cannot remember the exact words but at least that’s the thought)

9 things to be thankful for in 2009:

1. My eighteenth birthday- Yes, I’m a registered voter now! Still alive and 19th is fast-approaching!

2. HongKong Trip- Disneyland one more time. Nathan Road, Avenue of Stars, walking down memory lane, can i just go back?

2.1 count in my other domestic travels Subic etc, and the concerts I’ve watched, great shows, looking forward to more of it on 2010.

3. Acads- May not be the best but at least surviving NS101 is unexpected. Achievement? LMAO.

4. Surviving Ondoy- I know, we all hate Ondoy’s visit.. but hey, here we are celebrating New Year’s eve!

5. Laptop dear- I have no name for it, but it has been my companion for my late night paper works and insomnia-moments.

6. Health- no serious illness this year except for this severe cough, and the wisdom tooth which bugged me for days and oh, a lil fever I had. A healthier 2010 please!

7. 2JRN3- My college block. They really are awesome people. Me loves them all!

8. Friends- could not name you all but you know yourselves, Me thanks you for 2009! For the friendship and everything. me loves you too!<3

9. Family- Relatives and cousin dears included, awesome gatherings we had. More of it on 2010. Me loves you also!

To God be the glory.

Au revoir 2009, Bonjour 2010!:) The year of the TIGER. Go USTe!:)

May we have more Efren Penafloridas, peace, love and happiness! Happy New Year everyone! Have a prosperous and peaceful one! God Bless us all!

I’m hearing fireworks and Auld Lang Syne. Cheers to food and us! Bow, Tumblr.

*I posted this on New Year's Eve, the former were posted 2009.*

Cycle of Life

I was not a fan of those “I will take the moon and the stars just to be with you” pick-up lines of a guy. I see no truth behind that anyway. Maybe I’m just too cynical to believe. There’s more to love than that. It’s not about receiving 3 roses and note cards with chocolates, not that candle-lit dinner even. Although, those are sweet, mushy, cheesy, moments any girl would not refuse to take. But I see love in the simplest ways, words uttered could not even compare to the feeling.
The blushing cheeks, the “I-can’t-stop-smiling feeling”, the “I-can’t-get-you-out-of-my-head thought”, the “awww moments” and the “I-can’t-live-without-you mentality”. It’s heaven I tell you. But one should never be attached, realizing that the more you get used to something the more it’s harder for you to let it go when it’s time to take away whatever you have that you can’t let go.

That’s the sad reality of not having forever, having change as the only thing constant. Plus the fact that people always leave, true enough. And what’s new right? We always have that someone who wishes to leave with or without reason, a friend, special someone, relative, family member, whoever. We just can’t force them to stay. Never. If it’s God’s will, things will just happen. We lose but we also gain in the process, we just have to get used to it and we must never forget them.

The cycle of life. You live, you love, you let go and you move on. People should never depend on somebody so it wouldn’t hurt in the end after all losing means having something new, who knows maybe that that something could be the thing that you always wanted?